In what is surely the technological breakthrough of the century, the brightest toilet paper R&D minds at Georgia Pacific have done the impossible, I am stunned and shocked at the news that they have created a three ply toilet tissue. Claiming that it "delivers a luxurious, spa-like experience." According to company literature, the new 3-ply paper uses the same amount of raw fiber per roll as the 2-ply but is stronger and more absorbent.
I know, I know...it's hard to contain your enthusiasm and excitement.
To wipe with something with this caliber of softness? It boggles the mind.
At first blush it makes me want to go ahead and start eating
cans of B&M baked beans like crazy but then cooler thoughts prevailed.
Can you imagine what this means? I mean, I'm against this new three ply toilet paper in the fear that it will lead to an all out toilet paper race with Russia, Japan, China and the rest of the toilet paper ply world, to see who can develop the biggest,fluffiest, softest, silkiest roll of toilet tissue. I heard in Germany and Australia they already have four ply paper. This just might lead to another crises in the country calling for a toilet paper bail out by the United States government. While Japan, instead of joining in with the toilet paper race, has made great strides in rectal hygiene with toilets that wash, douche, sing, and play video games.
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