NEW YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK JOKES !

1) If your smoke alarm is a tin of Jiffy Pop popcon tacked to the wall,
you might be a redneck.

2) If you know how to make mixed drinks with a beer-dispensing plastic helmet,
you might be a redneck.

3) If you wear wide brimmed glasses like Govenor Sarah Palin,
you might be a redneck.

4) If your porch is bigger than the rest of your whole house,
you might be a redneck.

5) If all your cars radio presets are all set to country/western music,
you might be a redneck.

6) If you thought that the Unibomber was a wrestler,
you might be a redneck.

7) If your school song is "Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care",
you could be a redneck.

8) If you ever used your ironing board as a buffet table,
you might be a redneck.

9) If you try to reuse un canceled postage stamps,
you might be a redneck.

10) If a tornado hits your neighborhood and it's an improvement,
you might be a redneck.

11) If you have fly catching strips hanging from your living room ceiling,
you might be a redneck.

12) If you see a car in a museum and you have one on blocks in your front yard,
you might be a redneck.

13) If your riding lawn mower has a brush hog attachment,
you just might be a redneck.

14) If Your bathroom deodorizer is a box of stick matches,
you might be a redneck.

15) If there is a wet & dry vacuum cleaner in your living room,
you might be a redneck.

16) If you let your twelve year old daughter, her kids smoke at the dinner table.
you might be a redneck.

17) If you think the stock market is where cattle are sold,
you might be a redneck.

18) If your Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife,
you might be a redneck.

19) If you go fishing using a 22 caliber pistol,
you might be a redneck.

20) If your mailbox is a mile away down a dirt road,
you might be a redneck.

21) If your only tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise,
you might be a redneck.

22) If you think the federal government "bailout" is hay from a bailing machine,
you might be a redneck.

23) If you have ever taken reading material to an airplane restroom,
you might be a redneck.

24) If you have Christmas lights hung on your house all year long,
you might be a redneck.

25) If you have ever purchased a 6-pack of Budweiser beer with pennies,
you might be a redneck.

26) If your swimming pool has frogs in it,and you don't mind,
you might be a redneck.

27) If your wife's mother is your Aunt,
you might be a redneck.

28) If you own collector plates of Elvis,
you might be a redneck.

29) If you think Ipods come from vegetable gardens,
you might be a redneck.

30) If youv'e got trout in your living room fish tank,
you might be a redneck.

31) If you have live chickens living in your celler,
you might be a redneck.

32) If you have relatives named "Gomer,Goober,Clyde or Clem,
you might be a redneck.

33) If you think late night t.v. is at six at night,
you might be a redneck.

34) If your favorite intimet meal includes "Cheese Wiz",
you might be a redneck.

35) If you have fifty video tapes of the t.v.show "Hee Haw",
you might be a redneck.

36) If your yard is clutterewd with construction equipment,
you might be an Italian redneck.

37) If you read this list until the end,
you might be a redneck.

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